For me, against-my-will seems incompatible with self-divinity. So when something seems indisputably against my will, or against the will of any other, it can be difficult to maintain faith in self-divinity. It seems that the fundamental is disproved.
In my endeavour to preserve the possibility of self-divinity in my mind, I have often found it helpful to stand back from an immediate adverse situation, and consider it more in the category of scene setting* rather than grand finalé. This is not always easy to do at the time. But can become more attainable in retrospect.
Though this scene setting might sometimes result in death (as an extreme example), and therefore very much appear like the finalé, still if you believe in the internality of the soul, and the possibility of something gained from such an experience surviving to a future life, then the notion of self-divinity can nevertheless remain viable.
My song ‘Am I Not You?‘ is about this subject matter.
* Scene setting under the guidance of the fully conscious super-soul self [paramātmā] … in response to ones’ aspiration … facilitating with benefit of full awareness, but never imposing something against the will of the less conscious self [jivātmā].
Imagined example of scene setting that appears to be against ones’ will. Consider that one desires to experience the process and emotion of forgiveness in a very thorough way. In order to do that one must come to believe that some wrong or abuse has taken place in the past. That abuse or offense is in fact essential for the experience to be played out. The occurrence of that abuse or offense is the scene setting. And while it may be perceived as unwanted at the time, it is not actually against the will of the individual because it is simply the best possible preparation for something the individual chooses to experience. It may be a thankless task for the supersoul sometimes, but it always serves the individual – regardless of any lack of appreciation 🙂 … self-divinity intact!